Trailer Hopping : Ted is Stuffed Hollow Imagined Trash

Rating: No Butter
Posted April 8th, 2012 by popcorn

Once the text popped up that it was from the creator of the “Family Guy”, I completely shut down. No lewd and crude adult humor with a cursing and horny teddy bear for me, please.

Why isn’t anyone freaked out or shocked about seeing a talking and walking Teddy Bear in the middle of Manhattan? Ted should either be a walking phenomenon or a spirit worthy of being mutilated by the best exorcist. And, to have Ted smoking pot while Mark Wahlberg is reliving his childhood by eating a box of Pops? What’s that all about? Obviously, I’m not a Seth McFarlane fan to understand any of this humor.

There are other scenes I don’t quite understand, like Ted beating John up continuously over a ring and calling him names or Ted taking pictures with hot chicks while touching her breast. Who finds it normal to be dating a teddy bear or even find a teddy bear attractive in a love interest way? The guy and every other character in this movie have issues, and if I were Mila Kunis, I’d probably run as far away as possible.

The combination of Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis as love interests seems like a very strange mix; not because of the age difference, but because one appears bewildered and lost, and the other looks too spoiled and pampered; so, neither one is getting their needs met.

This seems like a movie with a beginning and no ending. The beginning is a guy who wished his childhood teddy bear to life in order to shelter him from his fears, like fear of thunder, but there is no ending in sight that would satiate me except to put the bear in its rightful place, a toy shelf. If Mark Wahlberg turns out to be a schizophrenic, the entire movie would be really disturbing without the surprise ending like Fight Club.

Will it attract a lot of man-boys who like Family Guy humor? F**k yes. The rest of the world can ignore the movie and watch or do something more worthwhile with their time.

Ted is scheduled to open on July 13, 2012. The movie stars Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth McFarlane as the voice of Ted, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Stroup, Patrick Warburton, Joel McHale and others.

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