Lionsgate Watching Mortdecai, I couldn’t help but spend most of my time contemplating what differentiates this from a Wes Anderson movie. After all, the former features Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Goldblum and, most importantly, a motorcycle with sidecar. It also centers on a valuable painting that multiple characters covet, just like Anderson’s latest, the Oscar-contending The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Universal Pictures Johnny Depp‘s latest movie, Mortdecai, is hitting theaters this weekend, and by all accounts it’s horrifically unenjoyable. Which you probably could have guessed. The trailer, the goggly-eyed posters and, hell, even the title with its superfluous T all pointed to self-parody without self-awareness. It shows Depp at his most rubbery, trying so damned hard to make a mustache wink that you could almost see him panting. That’s our consistent vision of the actor now, at least.

Read MoreRead Comments

Lionsgate There have been plenty of bumbling crime-fighters throughout the years. Pink Panther, Johnny English, OSS 117, Frank Drebin. All are respected for being ridiculous while still, somehow, saving the day. And now there’s Johnny Depp as Charlie Mortdecai — filling out the cult figure from the 1970s Kyril Bonfiglioli books with far better names than this movie got. (Seriously, would you rather go see Don’t Point That Thing At Me or Mortdecai? Exactly.) The trailer offers a classic comic take on the absurd police figure.