Movies With Butter

It's been so long since we've heard any news regarding Paramount's big-screen adaptation of Baywatch that we'd assumed cooler heads had prevailed and the former World's Most Popular TV Show would just stay where it was, collecting dust in the fading memories of anyone who remembers the syndicated TV of the '90s. But no, it turns out the studio was just waiting for the right moment to spring a whole tidal wave of Baywatch info on an unsuspecting public.

So here it all is, junior lifeguards: Dwayne Johnson is reportedly "loosely attached" to star in an unspecified role, while Justin Malen (Bad Teacher 2) is on board to rewrite the screenplay and We're the Millers directors Sean Anders and John Morris are attached to helm the project.

No start date or target release is mentioned, so this is presumably somewhere on the giant back burner of projects Johnson always has (ahem) cooking at any given moment, but the cruel brilliance of Baywatch is that plot runs secondary to the right blend of beefcake and cheescake -- and now that they've got Johnson willing to oil up his pecs and go running down the beach in slow motion, all the studio needs is a passel of young beauties in bathing suits and they'll be good to go.

Coming on the heels of the Angry Birds voice cast announcement and news of a Tetris live-action film in the works (to say nothing of upcoming TV shows based on Big and Rush Hour), this is a real banner week for creativity and originality in Hollywood. Excuse us while we get drunk.

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